NYOnTap is an ardent fan of reality TV. We feel there's something honest and forthright about its exploitiveness. You can't get any more real or more exploitive than Life is too Short, NBC's latest reality TV show featuring Verne Troyer (Mini-Me of Austin Power's fame). Troyer, a 34 year old stuntman/actor promises to deliver many guilty laughs. A New Years baby, raised Amish ("We had to bale the hay, ride the wagons, not use zippers, and wear suspenders. The one good thing was, I didn't have to wear one of those hats"), Troyer split from his girlfriend of three years 6'2" model Genevie Gallen last year. The anouncement of their engagement in July created a firestorm of media attention. Under intense public scrutiny Gallen and Troyer were driven apart. Gallen later compared their relationship to an interacial relationship in the 1950s. Verne, a recovering alcholic, was driven to drink and almost to his death. Talented, rich, famous and lovelorn we fully expect Verne to become a gaint in reality television.

As a child did you ever make a diorama? The first one was fun, sure, but by the time you hit second grade and became a veteran of a dozen or so hastily assembled midnight shoebox projects you probably had enough of building your own diorama's. Well now that you're an adult thank god you don't have to. Now you can afford to buy dioramas made with cheap Mexican labor. And as an adult, naturally you'll be interested in adult theme dioramas like the Dead baby ObGyn diorama (on sale for $8.25!)  or the Coed Naughty Nudie Shower Scene. Savor the rewards of adulthood. 

Hopeless? Lost? Depressed? What you need is a monkey. You may not know it, but a monkey can mend a broken heart or fill a void in your life that you didn't even know was there. A monkey can be your angel, your prize, the gleam within your eyes. Rainbow Primates specializes in baby monkeys (and questionable poetry). *Keep your new pet monkey on the down low because all non-human primates, including, but not limited to, monkey, ape, chimpanzee, gorilla and lemur are illegal as pets in NYC. **Also be sure to check out the guestbook for priceless entries like this one: Im only 23 and I'm very fortunate to be able to have my monk early on. Sebastian and I spend every night together on the couch, or in my bed. We snuggle and sleep together. I get so excited everyday thinking about what we will do together when I get home.